NOTES ON MODESTY/TZNIUS
Zlati finds going clothes shopping with her preteen daughter to be akin to a treasure hunt – a real challenging adventure. Locating clothing that fits within the parameters of Jewish modesty is extraordinarly difficult according to the latest fashions.
In a nutshell, Jewish modesty prescribes that a female dress with 1. knees covered 2. elbows covered 3. collarbone covered 4. hips should not be defined – so no pants and no tight skirts 4. no slits in the dresses or skirts 5. a married woman covers her hair with a head covering like a scarf, snood, or wig.
Her daughter asks quite baffled why girls would want to wear their underwear outside where people can see. What answer can she give her? For Jews, a girl/woman is compared to a sefer Torah (Torah scroll). Just like a Torah scroll is rolled inwards and covered with a beautiful cover, then placed in the aron kodesh (the holy arc or cupboard), closing its doors and drawing a lovely curtain across the aron. Just like the Torah scroll is only taken out at special times and then only the portion being read is exposed, the Jewish woman is cherished, respected and valued. To leave the Torah lying around, without its protective coverings and to eye it all the time would desensitize a person to its innate holiness and beauty. It would make it common and cheap – nothing special. How something or someone is treated shows how exceptional it is.
Zlati cannot understand how husbands, fathers, brothers and boyfriends could want the precious females in their lives to be flaunted and bare, exposed to everybody – their innate beauty made so cheap and therefore worthless. Some men are even proud of showing off their women like prize cattle. “Hey guys! Look what I’ve got. I’ll turn her around and you can see everything for yourself.” Women themselves must not understand their true worth and potential. Zlati thinks it is very sad. It also makes it hard to find pretty and acceptable clothes. Oh well!
ZLATI’S REPETITIVE QUOTES
Hopefully putting these in written form will release them from Zlati’s consciousness and allows her to move on and think new thoughts.
- “Everything I know about real life, I learned from reading fiction.”
- “My head is like a marshmallow. If someone would just toast it and put it between a slab of chocolate and two graham crackers, I’d be happy.”
- “Life is like a book. I can’t wait to find out what is going to happen at the end.”
- “I’m starting a new support group called MABA (Mothers Against Barbie Accessories). Those Barbie accessories are always all over the house. There’s no reason for them except to make a mess. We didn’t have them when I was a kid. The only accessories we had were shoes.”
- “This place is a mess! I’m throwing out all your toys and you can play with your fingers and toes.”
- “People create their own reality, but there is only one truth.”
